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OMFG U NOOB!

Pocket Kings are a great hand. At least until an Ace comes out on the flop. Here’s a couple of hands that still make me laugh out loud when I go back over them.

Our setting is a Poker Stars 2-table SNG. It’s down to the final four, so we’re all in the money. I’m the short stack, so I’m ready to do some gambling.

PokerStars Game #3396520192: Tournament #16836126, Hold'em No Limit - 
Level IX (300/600) - 2005/12/21 - 16:13:14 (ET)
Table '16836126 1' Seat #4 is the button
Seat 3: Atkins20 (4075 in chips)
Seat 4: Pagharion (6825 in chips)
Seat 7: JoseRijo27 (3045 in chips)
Seat 8: Luckey74me (13055 in chips) is sitting out
Atkins20: posts the ante 50
Pagharion: posts the ante 50
JoseRijo27: posts the ante 50
Luckey74me: posts the ante 50
JoseRijo27: posts small blind 300
Luckey74me: posts big blind 600
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JoseRijo27 [K♦ K♠]
Atkins20: raises 600 to 1200
Pagharion: folds
JoseRijo27: calls 900
Luckey74me: folds

I know Reggie Bush will chastize me for the smooth call, but I felt like Atkins20 had a worse hand than me. With a hand as good as Cowboys, I wanted him to call my push-in.

*** FLOP *** [5♦ A♦ 2♠]
JoseRijo27: checks
Atkins20: bets 1200
JoseRijo27: raises 595 to 1795 and is all-in
Atkins20: calls 595
*** TURN *** [5♦ A♦ 2♠] [6♥]
*** RIVER *** [5♦ A♦ 2♠ 6♥] [4♣]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
JoseRijo27: shows [K♦ K♠] (a pair of Kings)
Atkins20: shows [Q♥ J♣] (high card Ace)
JoseRijo27 collected 6790 from pot

Columbus took a chance, and sometimes, so do poker players. Either he had the ace, or he didn’t. But the best part came on the next hand.

PokerStars Game #3396526794: Tournament #16836126, Hold'em No Limit - 
Level IX (300/600) - 2005/12/21 - 16:14:07 (ET)
Table '16836126 1' Seat #7 is the button
Seat 3: Atkins20 (1030 in chips)
Seat 4: Pagharion (6775 in chips)
Seat 7: JoseRijo27 (6790 in chips)
Seat 8: Luckey74me (12405 in chips) is sitting out
Atkins20: posts the ante 50
Pagharion: posts the ante 50
JoseRijo27: posts the ante 50
Luckey74me: posts the ante 50
Luckey74me: posts small blind 300
Atkins20: posts big blind 600

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JoseRijo27 [A♣ T♣]

Atkins20 said, "u ****ign called with pocket kings u noob"
Pagharion: folds
JoseRijo27: raises 600 to 1200
Luckey74me: folds
Atkins20: calls 380 and is all-in
*** FLOP *** [8♥ T♦ 4♥]
*** TURN *** [8♥ T♦ 4♥] [Q♥]

Atkins20 said, "OMFG"
Pagharion said, "bye bye"
*** RIVER *** [8♥ T♦ 4♥ Q♥] [3♦]
Atkins20 said, "noob"

*** SHOW DOWN ***
Atkins20: shows [3♣ 2♠] (a pair of Threes)
JoseRijo27: shows [A♣ T♣] (a pair of Tens)
JoseRijo27 said, "noob who took yo money"
JoseRijo27 collected 2460 from pot

I always chuckle when someone who loses all of his money criticizes the play of the person who took it. “If you were a better poker player, *I* would’ve won the hand! Or at least lost a little less money.”

Last Updated: Thu, 22 Dec 2005